Hello Monday.
Last week has not been a good week for me.
I don’t like crying. I don’t like drama. I avoid crying and overdramatic situations like plague.
But hey, can’t avoid it happening once in your short lifetime, I guess.
We had our first relationship crisis. It’s probably not as bad as most relationship problems out there but dammit, it hurts. It hurts badly. I still have the tendency to get angry when I think about it. Then comes the insecurity, then the confusion. Rather not go into details.
We managed to iron the creases. Most of it. There are still a lot of creases to go through but I guess that’s what relationships are about. I was almost at the point of leaving, but he was wanting to work things out.
You want me to be honest? I’m going to say I’m really confused right now. I don’t even know whether to stay or leave. The only thing that keeps me around is that he has never wronged me, that this is not a cheating kind of crisis, and that it was his initiative to make things right this time.
All through the weekend I kept on thinking, “Why am I still here?” When I arrived, I thought of going back immediately, take the next train back to the City.
But I didn’t. And I guess that makes all the difference.
I will forever wonder what would have happened have I taken the train back. It probably would have ended by then.
Even so I took the early train back to the City this morning. 6am. I didn’t feel like staying there a minute longer, even though we looked like we had worked things out. I think I need this week to calm down and breathe, and think properly.
I’m sitting down here wondering if this was a small problem or a big problem. I honestly don’t know. The fact that I’m hurt doesn’t necessarily means it is a big problem, huh? But I am hurt nevertheless.
Man, why did I even get into a relationship in the first place? Isn’t Uni madness enough to deal with?
Sigh.
I don’t even know whether to be very angry, or to cry bitterly.
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[...] The ABC of the Mad Penguin July 23, 2007 Filed under: Uni, meme, Life — The Mad Penguin @ 9:46 pm Alright, after the rare uncomical, unhumouristic and uninspiring, downright depressing post, I’m back to my…. [...]
Some problems are inevitable when we’re in a relationship, so we are inevitably hurt sometimes, when problems come, we normally think about all the bad issues related, or even want to end up with leaving, but to leave may not be a good way. I’m not saying it must be right to stay, but since u’ve given a lot to maintain this relationship after all, it’s better to make a worthwhile decision. Glo…cheer up~~sunshine is always around:)
You’re right. It’s true when something bad happens, we respond by remembering everything that is bad, no matter how small. He is a good man and try to make things right. Well, you know me! Hotheaded, impatient and ready to strike all the time! I think I’m thankful at the fact he tried to work things out. I should honour that, huh? Thanks so much for your words, dear. It made me think. And you are always comforting me. =D