I don’t drink coffee. I avoid coffee. I don’t even eat coffee toffee. Everyone in my family depends on coffee to kick start their day but if I drink coffee that will be the end of my days. I think I may be adopted. Or I have gene defects and I’m missing a DNA components. Even Hero needs his fix of coffee every morning before work, and when driving to work. He drinks from a mug-flask while driving!
To illustrate:
This is me:
And this is the rest of the humans I hang out with:
Since I don’t drink coffee, it’s safe to assume that I’m safe from the lure of capitalistic marketing inventions that is Starbucks, correct?
WRONG!
This, ladies and gentleman, is the evil that has lured me to that capitalist establishment. That has made a mockery of my informed judgement. That tells me no matter how much you learn about Marketing, and it doesn’t matter if one of your major from your double degree is marketing, you will succumb to marketing ploys. Especially when it involves chocolate.
That’s a Chocolate Hazelnut Cake, or Hazelnut Chocolate Cake. I’m not sure which one comes first but who cares, it’s chocolate AND hazelnut, and that is all you need to know. If you’re so concerned about the correctness of what comes first, go muddle yourself with the “chicken or egg?” question.
Sorry about the crappy quality, this was taken with a camera phone. I’m not sorry about the crappy quality of this entry though, even if I typed it with my phone. If.
It all started one rainy day.
Actually, no. But I needed to sound romantic and dramatic since winter here is not the remotest romantic.
I was waiting for my bus home after work. The stop is just behind the mall, where Starbucks is. I thought I’d take a look at Starbucks just to pass time, you know, since I have to wait half an hour for my bus. I wasn’t planning to buy anything. I mean, come on! It’s Starbucks. It’s coffee. They have cakes, but I don’t even like cakes that much.
Ohohohoho! I should learn to keep my mouth shut, don’t I?
I used to snigger at people in Starbucks, being all high and mighty about Starbucks retailing and marketing points because I am, after all, a Marketing student. I was so holier-than-thou-caffeinated-people and wonder why anyone would bother paying premium price whenever “cino” or prefixes “o” is added into the beverage name. Cappucino, mocchachino, expresso, you name it. I wondered if I lemonade, sell it as Lemonadino and charge $8 per cup for it, would I be the new retailing genius?
Oh, I was so, so, so naïve. So, so misinformed!
The moment I stepped into Starbucks I saw an enticing piece of cake. FULLY COVERED IN CHOCOLATE. The selling point: Hazelnut Chocolate Cake. HAZELNUT!! CHOCOLATE!!
I stood there for a long time, trying to make up my mind whether I was going to have that, or just get a fillet-o-fish for much, much less that price. A filet-o-fish could fill me up and I won’t need dinner.
So, as expected of someone with rational thinking, a lot of wisdom, unparallel street smart, and plenty of information about how retail geniuses like this lures customers…
…I bought a slice of that damn cake.
And it has transformed my life forever.
I sank my teeth into it and oh, the joy! The happiness! The world peace it could bring! You know how some cakes are topped with chocolate icings, but underneath they’re just plain sponge cakes? Not this one! It was chocolatey from top to deep, deep, deep down inside. Oh mama mia! Excellent! Great! Amazing! And all other positive adjectives in the English speaking world that I can’t possibly mention unless I eat an Oxford Dictionary! Where have I been?
Chocolate is much better than sex! I’m just quoting, you know. I don’t want to say whether I agree to it or not. Ex-boyfriends do read this blog. Hero does not know of this existence yet but I don’t think he’d appreciate chocolate being better than him. I’m just going to say, a lot of people says that chocolate is much better than sex. So in order to promote abstinence, I think those who campaign for it should give out free chocolates everyday. Agreed? Let me hear you say, “YES!!!”
As I cleared some of my junks for the new Uni semester, I came across receipts of purchases I made in Starbucks. It records nothing but that very cake only. All in all, since May, I have spent $104.50 on Hazelnut Chocolate Cake, including the one in that picture. This is now the end of July. One slice costs $5.50. You do the math. (I bought two today, one intended to be eaten tomorrow. Who wants to bet that it will NOT last til tomorrow? Huh? Huh?)
Hazelnut Chocolate Cake has humbled me.
I’m sorry Starbucks. I’ve misunderstood you. I’ve misinterpret your love. I’ve undermined your worth. I love you.
My Marketing major ego is bruised. My retail marketing knowledge is useless. Hazelnut Chocolate Cake has seduced me into the sin of capitalism retailing. I am so ashamed of myself. I feel so dirty. I’ve been naughty. I’ve been a very, very bad girl.
It feels so good to be bad!
I still hate coffee so I still win against the Starbucks establishment. Hah! Take that Starbucks!
I think.
I hope.
Say, yes?
Filed under: Food
Yeah, I like chocolate cakes. And I like coffee too.haha
When I am in Pizza hut, I often order chocolate cakes as my dessert.Yummy.
mmmmmmmmmm i love chocolate.
happy wednesday!
i can’t resist chocolates, too … but my son can (he claims to be a mutant every now and then, hahaha). So when we eat (yup, EAT too, not just drink) and drink at Starbucks he always chooses their belgian waffles. He doesn’t like coffee, too (thank heavens, no competition!), so he just drinks water with his waffle.
having written that, i now believe my son is more intelligent than me … and he just turned 8 last march!
I really can’t stand coffee. Everyone is my class is drinking it and it seems that I’m the odd one out right now.
I’ll be laughing at them when they find out coffee adds to the stress and suicidal rates all occurring here in our very world!
You can walk 3Km in half an hour. I can’t stand waiting at the stop for the bus. I just walk to the next stop, then the next … until, finally I am home, or I catch the bus.
I am not much of a coffee drinker. I will have coffee when going out. Somehow tea just doesn’t taste right in Styrofoam cups. Even in a mug, at a restaurant, tea still doesn’t taste right.
I pretty fruity cakes, or cakes with lots of cream or, better yet, fruit and cream. While I like chocolate, chocolate cake is not tempting for me -too rich and decadent to be enjoyed.
Your Winter fix is easy, just move to Canada.
Sorry, “pretty” should have been “prefer”.
“I prefer fruity cakes” not “I pretty fruity cakes”.
Maybe I need a coffee.
x – You know what? I never order desserts after pizza in Pizza Hut. I am usually too full by then and the sight of another food will make me feel sick!
Shelby – I second your opinion. Haha.
maiylah – Indeed! Indeed! Your son has a strong “immunity” it seems. Haha. Well, at least he won’t be spending on chocolates like smokers spends on cigarettes. Oops. Did I just revealed that? Oh no.
Reening – You too? Ah, we are real blood cousins! Haha. Or maybe the both of us have gene defects cos everyone in the family seem to be caffeine-holic. Just remember all those family gatherings we had and grandma sending me to the kitchen to make coffee. I have to screw my nose for a few minutes of making coffee for the pleasure of all present. Gah.
Richard – now that you mentioned it, I guess I know why I don’t like my tea “take away”. I insist to drink tea where I order it, with real tea cups. “I pretty fruit cakes”…yes, you need your coffee fix. Hahaha!
P.S: Canada seems a scarily cold place to be. But I almost went to Canada instead of Australia! To University of New Brunswick.
ahhh coffee my life would not be complete without it! but i will tell u i’m a dunkin’ donuts girl, forget starbucks! and if u liked that cake, u should try a chocolate ganache cake, man is that yummy.
I hate coffee. The taste, the smell. Hazelnut especially makes me gag just smelling it. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but they have stinky coffee breath so who cares what they think?
You should try the Vanilla Creme at Starbucks. No coffee in it, only about a million calories if you get it with whipped cream, but oh. so. good.
blue eyed – I love dunkin’ donuts too but comparing dunkin’ donuts to hazelnut choco cake? hazelnut wins. :p But if you compare it with tiramisu then…*drools*
Blue Momma – Yeap, I have to agree with you on the coffee thing. 22 years I’ve smelt coffee from my loved ones, I train myself to just accept the smell like air. But the taste? Oh dearie, nononono. A million calories…lol…that’s not the most effective way to make people eat, isn’t it? haha!
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