Snacks Junkie

(Not playing TT this week, can’t choose a good one from all my draft but happy TT to everyone!)

 

Beejebus…how did I end up like this?

 

I was stressed, as usual. This is now the end of week 4, which means in about 2-3 more weeks there will be midterm barging in my face. In addition to that I have two projects and countless other WEEKLY tutorial assignments. I’m almost at the you-know-monthly-what time so I am constantly hungry (and yes, cranky).

 

Last night I had one of my marathon study session. I know it sounds crazy to have a marathon study session in just week 4 but eversince dating Hero I ended up being so discipline in my studies. The reason was that I’m no Incredible Hulk. For the weekend I can only lug around 1 hardcover heavy textbook (fling it to a dog, that dog will die) + laptop (fling it to a dog, you might as well die. It’s a laptop for crying out loud!) + one note taking pad + your weekend essentials such as clothes, underwear and toiletries. Those are the essential things I would bring, and not only that ladies and gentlemen! Because I usually head to his place right after class, I’m also usually lugging that day’s class materials which add to the weigh.

 

If you’re asking me why I study way so early, the answer is this: I might look and act and sound as if I have brains but let’s not kid anyone. I’m not a brainiac, my only bet is to work hard. What takes people a day to understand might take me two days. I don’t mind working hard. I’m also super neat in my notes (underline! Color coded! Marginalized! Wooha, psychedelic colors! Uh, maybe not the last one) and it takes me a while to be satisfied with the way my notes are written. Otherwise I won’t read them. It sucks being me sometimes. But it’s worth it once you realize you’re not cramming during finals. Must have something to do with that Chinese astrology thing. I’m an ox. Go figure. That must be why I am such a delicious person too…you don’t get steaks from any other Chinese zodiac out there. Mouse steaks? Dog steaks? Hah! So to all the other Chinese zodiacs, with the exception of Chicken/Rooster, here’s to you: Nyanyanyanyanya!

 

I wise up recently…during the weekend I will study the last class’s materials.

 

Duh, should have figured that out earlier.

 

Told you I wasn’t that smart.

 

Halfway through the marathon, I decided I was hungry. Actually, eversince the clock ticks during the marathon, I decided that I was hungry every 30 seconds. I probably irritated J by coming in and out of my room, opening and closing the fridge door every nanoseconds. Well I’m sorry, PMS-ing woman needs nourishment to grow. I’m only 22, I’m a growing girl. Look how short I am! I need my height!

 

Unfortunately for all my effort, past and present, I have only ever managed to grow horizontally and shrink vertically. Biology is a cruel thing.

 

Eh, where was I? Ah, raiding my fridge.

 

Within the space of 2 hours binge, I’ve finished a pack of Tim Tams, a half packet of white bread and a 450g tub of potato salad. That was around 11pm. I had my dinner at 6.30pm. You do the calorie math. And speaking of Tim Tams, gadzook, I love Australia simply for the fact of inventing this orgasm in a packet and of course, being the homeland of Hero. And Country Road. And Billabong. And banana benders. Eh. And Vegemite. Ok, maybe not Vegemite. I don’t use Vegemite like any normal Australian…or any normal person do. That’s for another story.

 

And Milo. I’ve had Milo back home like alcoholic to their beer, and now I’m in Milo birthland I’m consuming it at an alarming rate. If there was ever a Driving-Under-Milo offences, I would have been the next cool person since Paris Hilton.

 

When I made my hot Milo, I remembered that I have leftover cereal somewhere, dug around for it, found it and dump it into the mug of Milo. Nevermind the cereal was hiding at the very back of the fridge because I didn’t like the bran part of it before. It’s food. It’s good. For now.

 

Besides, the cereal says it absorbs cholesterol. That’s good. So it can help me absorb all the cholesterol from previous mentioned food. I don’t even want to think of calorie, ok? Don’t be so greedy. You either cancel the cholesterol or cancel the calorie. PLEASE.

 

Then of course the nocturnal J decided to have beef lasagna that smells amazingly delicious. Running out of snacks, I made myself a heavy snack: noodle (what? All those before AREN’T heavy?). Ok, ok, that would be a meal, not snack. Oh, shut up you. I told you, I’m a growing girl although it is horizontally. Don’t be too discriminatory on the growth. Damn you!

 

By 2am there was nothing edible left for me, so I decided to call it a day and sleep.

 

Today while waiting for one of the tutorial classes to commence, I found myself face to face with a snack vending machine. *horror* The machine will only accept coins, $5 and $10 bill. I had a $20. I need a $2 kit kat. The one with Homer Simpson on it. I don’t know why I should mention that but I hope it justifies me wanting it, and you don’t think I’m off my rockers. As if wanting a Homer Simpson-ized Kit Kat would not have caused that already.

 

I asked around if anyone had changes for $20. No one had. I was desperate. In true-blue junkie style I cornered my friend Mona and demanded she hand me over a $2.

 

You know you have fallen low, low down the strata of society when you mug someone off $2 just to have a Homer Simpson-ized Kit Kat.

 

Mona did the worst thing you could ever do to a junkie. She thought she was being kind. You know how people say if you give money to a beggar on the street, he/she would just go around the corner and buy crack? Well, kind Mona gave me a $5, which was more than I mugged her for.

 

So I bought a Homer Simpson-ized Kit Kat AND a bag of chips, and since from that transaction I had another dollar left, I brought a Sultana kind of bread thingo that I’d never have touched with a ten foot pole on any normal days.

 

But at least I wasn’t such a bad mugging junkie, I passed the chips along the waiting line so at least everyone before the tute had a taste of my crack. Uhm, I mean…uh…ah….that “taste of my crack” didn’t go down so well does it?

 

Mental note number 1: Must remember to pay Mona tomorrow.

 

Mental note number 2: Must check in to Snacks Anonymous Rehab Centre.

 

EDIT

I found this is Titania’s and thought I might give it a bash. You’re supposed to draw a pig and your drawing of that said pig will be interpreted to find out your personality.

 

I only managed to draw up to its snout because by then I was laughing too madly.

 

Behold my artistic talent! If Sheri is reading this, please don’t be jealous of my artistic ability which is obviously better than yours. Any day. BETTER.

 

I wish.

 

Nevermind. Here, I present you, my masterpiggypiece!

 

 

Am I a future Picasso or what!

 

I didn’t check what the drawing says about me since it’s unfinished. It’ll probably say what we all know already: The Mad Penguin is a closet retard. Look at that pig for crying out loud. You wouldn’t even guess it was a pig if I didn’t mention it. I was trying to put some hole in that snout but I was laughing too hard I couldn’t keep my hand steady.

 

My pig looked like it’s on a trippy, trippy trip. Look at the look in his eyes.

 

That’s it. I want whatever he is taking.

 

While my pig and I are on our trippy trip, go ahead and draw your own trippy pig.

 

Tripppyyyyy!

 

Ah, that’s it. My pig’s name is Trippy. Hooray!