DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

(Warning: Angry post ahead. With a few carefully selected “French” words)

Love makes the world go round, they say.

But we all know this: Money is what makes the world round.

I was ecstatic that I get to work more hours during the summer break. That means more income, and more savings.

But recently my happiness have gone sour.

When I found out I have a backtrack of 3 months bill.

Yes. I. As in I, myself. Not “we”.

Do I look scary enough for someone to NOT want to ask me about money? Can’t you come up to me and say “Penguin, our bills are due, can you cough up your share?” Because by jove I will never shirk from paying bills!

For the past few months I have left the mail collecting to my housemates. I guess before that the only reason I know when bills are to be paid is because I’d pick up the mail, and see the envelopes. Then I will ask J, who handles our payment, what my dues are.

For 3 months no one asked me to pay up. If I didn’t realized one day that it had been a long time since I had been paying bills, this would have gone on for months!

“Don’t we have bills anymore?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” J said. And finally I found out I’m behind 3 months bill payments. They have paid my share, without telling me.

Why am I so annoyed, you ask me? Since I’m working and all, and you all know I’m quite frugal…I shouldn’t be worried about having bills to pay, shouldn’t I?

I have a GREAT BIG REASON to be annoyed. Everytime I receive my pay, I save whatever I don’t use or intend to use. Every single penny. That is not easy on a student budget and a student income.

AND BECAUSE I’M SAVING IT IN AN INTEREST FREE ACCOUNT, THAT PAYS YOU MONTHLY INTEREST PROVIDING YOU DO NOT WITHDRAW ON THAT MONTH.

So instead of me paying the bank to hold my money, the bank is paying ME to keep my money.

After paying my rent and everything that is to be paid, and after budgeting for groceries that month (which is not a lot since I get free food from my workplace), I put any leftovers away in that account. It’s not much of a leftover, but it has accumulated a happy amount of money.

MONEY I SHOULD HAVE BEEN USING TO PAY BILLS.

This means that my happiness in seeing my money grows these past few months were delusional happiness. I’m actually in debt to my housemates for the bills they have paid on my part.

Our bills come monthly, and the electricity bills are received every three months. It’s not a huge amount if you pay it every month. After all we’re sharing it between the three of us, except for my phone calls to Hero.

But if you accumulate it for 3 months, the amount is gargantuan.

“NEXT TIME, SHOW ME THE BILL DIRECTLY. IF IT IS TOO SCARY TO ASK ME FOR MONEY, THERE’S MAGNET ON THE FRIDGE. STICK THE BILL ON IT!”

Yes. I was very, very pissed. I’m more disgruntled at the fact that I have to pull money out of THAT account to pay those back bills. A small interest may not seem a lot if you don’t have a lot. I don’t have that much. That is exactly why I’m addicted to keeping money into that account. Every single cent, every single dollar counts to that interest. Watching your money grow is like watching those rare roses you have nurtured, grow into magnificent rose bushes. The more it grows, the happier I am.

Besides, the more money I have in that account, the more I’m paid for it. Every month the statement comes and I’m happy to see how much interest I’m paid. I know it’s a bit weird to hear someone being happy just because they have received a bank statement. But see, my statement for that account does not have any credit sign or amount on it. Instead, ever month I see a small amount being debited into that account.

That debited amount–the interest that I am paid for saving into that account–is not even in dollar amount…just cents. But it keeps me motivated. So motivated that I keep every single cents into that account. I don’t carry cash around. I do all my groceries with debit facilities. When I check my balance online every few days, I transfer all the cents from my debit account to that account.

For example, after paying groceries, I may have a balance of $14.15 left in that debit account. So I transfer that 15 cents into the interest-free account. Which means my debit account is almost always in round dollars.

My goal this year was to have that interest reached to a point where I’m paid in round dollar.

Taking a big amount of money out from that account, and watching the depleted balance makes me very, very angry. Knowing that I’m not even going to be paid for the leftover amount because I made a withdrawal this month is even more BUMHEAD D***KSAKING MADAFAKING BAMBOZING POOING WHATCAMACALLIT WHATCAPACALLIT WHATCABRUTHACALLIT @#%&^%&%&%^%&%!!!!!!!

(Pardon my fluent French.)

If I wanted to teach them a lesson, I would have ignored it until I get out of this house. But I’m not evil. I know all of us are on student budget, and rely on our part-time job to pay our expenses. Having them pay for my part must not have been easy for them. I don’t know why they’d rather go through it. Why they would rather pay up and be a few dollars short every month just because maybe they’re too scared of asking money from me.

Just come up to me and say we have bills!

I know talking about money is not comfortable for some people. I know asking money from some people are difficult for some individuals to do. But you’re not asking me for my money. You’re not asking for handouts. You’re asking me to shoulder my responsibility, to chip in to pay whatever is my due. I don’t see anything wrong in that!

Today I pulled out all the bills we have had this year. I made a note on all due dates on my new swanky 2008 organizer, since people think I’m too scary to ask for money. I might as well make a reminder myself.

STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS!

I look at my new account balance and I feel as if I’ve just been stabbed in the heart with a blunt, jagged dagger. It hurts. Dammit it hurts.

I’m so frustrated I could almost cry!