It is the norm when 6 insane people are put in a room to study an insane subject, you can get some insane conversation. Another contributing factor would be the United Nation study group we have, when cultures differ and culture shocks are sometime experienced.
In this case, you have one Malaysian (yours truly), one Scottish, two Australian, one Chinese and one Norwegian.
“Studying is not the best feeling in the world, man,” said K in his thick Scottish accent. Hours before he nearly killed me when I made fun of the way he pronounce “Apple Pie”.
“Apoul poi,” the poor guy said when we walked to the City’s bakery. I cracked up and “poi-ed” all the way back to Uni.
“Yeah,” Norway said.
The Chinese decided to be introspective about the whole thing. “Come on guys. Nothing good is achieved without pain.”
He is after all, a Chinese, the champion race when it comes to arithmetic subject. He is also the only human in the room who understand swap and options and therefore he can afford to be all Confucius regarding our sufferings.
“I’m hungry!” I moaned, a mere hour after munching a fat pie from the bakery. I’m Malaysian. We eat 6 times a day whether we are hungry or not. We pass friends in the street, we go “have you eaten?” and we invite them to eat. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, yum cha, dinner, supper and snacks in between…eating is a national sport. Studying, we avoid like plague. No sane Malaysian student actually study until 3 days before final exams. And when exam time comes, the frequency of eating double. Stress needs fuel, you know.
Until said Malaysian students head out to study in a foreign country, and then panic about exam 2 months before it even arrives. Man, how life changes.
“What’s the best feeling in the world anyway?” one of the Australian decides to be philosophical. When studying, it helps to be extra distracted.
“Falling in love with the man of your dreams,” I swooned, as I daydreamed about Hero and tried to wipe my drools.
“Getting drunk,” the other Australian replied. He is, after all, an Australian. It doesn’t help he is Australian of Irish ancestry. Like Hero (swoon. Drools). Australian drinks a lot. Irish CAN DRINK a lot. Man! “We should get drunk now.”
“Yeah!” I echoed excitedly. “Let’s head to bottle O and grab a Brown Brothers!” (I loooove Brown Brothers stuffs!)
“We just went to the City a few minutes ago,” China guy said, trying to keep us all in line.
“45 minutes ago,” answered the Norwegian. Don’t mess with Scandinavians and their sense of time. Maybe he’s half German. Who knows? “The best feeling in the world is having sex with a hot woman.”
I cracked up again. Seriously, I think I have serotonin overload. I laugh at everything. China guy unsuccessfully tried to put us in line because right after that everyone’s remarks was laced with innuendos. After a few failed attempt, he adopted the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Confucius be damned.”
“But seriously, you know what the best feeling in the world is?” quipped Scottish guy.
“What?” asked one Australian. “A threesome with two hot women?” (Again, he is Australian).
“A threesome with two hot women after steak and then with Brown Brothers wine and risoles after that!” (Can you tell this remark was made by a food-mad Malaysian?)
Scottish shook his head.
“Nah. The best feeling in the world is taking a shit.”
……
Sexual innuendos suddenly silenced. No more naughty laughter.
We all stared at him.
“Taking a what, now?”
“Taking a shit,” Scot replied nonchalantly. “You know, when you stomach ache so much and you can’t hold it in anymore, when gases are dying to burst out, and then you’re getting cold sweats and this extremely uncomfortable feeling. And then you go to the toilet and sit on the porcelain bowl and then uuuuuggggggghhhh it all out. Plop! Plop! Plop! One by one your sufferings are eliminated. And then when you’re done, you have this huge, great feeling of relief washing over you and you’re like, ‘fuck man, that was goood!’. You know?”
When he put it that way, we unanimously, seriously agreed with him. ‘Taking a shit’ is truly the best feeling in the world.
I will never take going to the toilet for granted ever again. The next time I do my big business, I will make sure I focus and savour the feeling. Feel the beauty of your sufferings and discomfort plonking down the toilet bowl. Experience the smell of the toxins flushing out of your body.
Such a beautiful process.
He has changed my views on life.
(We didn’t achieve much in terms of studying. But we did, as you can see, came up with life philosophies that no doubt will bring greater good to this evil, evil world we live in.)
