RIP Grandma…

My grandmother has passed away, around 1pm Malaysian time today. She passed away in her younger sister’s house. After bath. Or maybe during bathing. I’m not sure. The details are sketchy at the moment. I do not want to call around and ask because as it stand now, most of my uncles and aunties still do not know fully. I do not want to add to anyone’s grief by demanding them a detailed account. My grandmother has passed away, everyone is grieving, what does it matter how she passed away at this moment?

You know, my late grandfather passed away on a Friday too, just a little more than 12 years ago.

How do I feel about my grandmother passing away?

I felt really, absolutely, extremely, immensely grateful I went home last month. I saw her for the last time, laughed with her, talked to her, hugged her. I told her about Hero briefly. Ate with her. I didn’t think that was the last time I would see her but I don’t want to look at it that way. The most important thing is I got to see her, and she got to see me smiling and happy. Particularly considering I left the country 2.5 years ago in great rage and great grief.

I feel relieved that now she is finally free from her many ailments and pains. From her loneliness eversince Grandpa and Great Grandma passed away. Not that she was on good terms with Great Grandma, mind you. But at least she wasn’t alone then.

I feel sorry that I am not there to see her go, to give her my final goodbye.

But I feel happy and proud that she have had a good life, after she has had a difficult life when she was younger.

I hope she left the world in peace, and in want of nothing.

May your soul rest in peace, Ibu’. May God have kept a place for you with him and may you meet Ibu’ Delai there again.

Cos you know, I’m sure after 12 years the two of you will have a lot of catching up to do.

Oh, and tell Grandpa I’m about to follow his footsteps. He’d be mighty proud, the old guy.