Anagrams

As some of you are aware right now I’m not one to forward or share forwarded mails unless I find it really funny or relevant. This is one of the forward mails I think are brilliant and therefore have no problem sharing it around.

Feel free to steal it since it was not mine to begin with. :p

*******

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I’ve received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:!
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).

Bet your friends haven’t seen this one! !! DON’T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

*****

Here’s wishing you a lovely Friday. TGIF!

P.S: Some poor souls have to work Saturday morning. Namely: me. Booo!

I can’t sleep.

Hero is snoring. Argh.

Poor guy has had a rough 3 weeks.

It’s 11.30pm. I have to wake up as early as him tomorrow to pack him his lunch…at 4.00am. Drats! Then I’ll catch a few winks before going to work myself. This is going to take maybe 5 cans of energy drink. Ugh.

I’ve been so exhausted this month and I’m glad the month is over. I find myself falling asleep sitting down. I normally can’t sleep with noise, but 90% of the time I have found myself asleep in front of a blaring tv!

Thus the silence from this blog. I have attempted writing in that state but it just won’t work, man. By the time my Windows are loaded and ready to go, I’m already snoring.

I had a full rest today though and that was soooo good.

A few days ago I fell asleep again watching tv. At 7pm. How wimpy is that! Just call me Great Grandma Penguin. While I slept, I dreamt that Hero left me. I can’t remember the details but the bottom line is, he left me. It wasn’t even leaving cos he was angry at me, or there was another girl. No. He just up and left me. I still remember that terrible feeling now. How I felt like my heart was shredded to pieces and felt as if I could not live anymore. That or the oxygen will soon be out of me the way I was crying my organs out.

Hero woke me up cos he was worried—I was whimpering badly in my sleep. He said later that I sounded as if someone was strangling me. He was outside on the verandah smoking and having a hot drink when he heard me choking and sounded strangled so he ran back inside. Just to find me whimpering like an idiot in my sleep, no doubt.

As soon as I saw that concerned face peering down at me I just broke down and cling on him like a koala to a gum tree. I was sobbing like mad and pleading him not to leave me. Yeah, not one of my proudest moment, folks. *grimace* Let me tell you, a fat crying penguin trying to act like a cute koala on a tree is, well, is not cute.

Hero was very, very confused. “Why am I leaving you, baby?”

“I don’t know!” I bawled. “Just don’t…don’t…don’t…le le le leave me, waaaaaaa!”

“I never would! I didn’t even said I ever will! What’s wrong, babe?”

“Just a bad dream,” I sniffed.

It felt really good to get confirmation that no, he will not leave me ever and to feel that arms around me. In the end he just ended up going to bed as early because I wasn’t going to sleep without him.

Slept like a baby after that.

Now, if only this snoring could stop so I could sleep like a baby today too…

Penguin on a hiatus…again

Sorry for the silence folks, but it’s getting busier at my end of the world right now.

We are feeling the recession so I’m putting in more hours at work and squirreling away money. Not that it’s gonna do much different since a huge bulk of it will go to my fees next semester but hey, what can one do, eh?

Will be back when I can.

P.S: This post was written and posted by email (good ol WordPress!) so the paragraphs won’t be justified. :( Too bad for that! Will have to figure that one out. I know, I know…me and my justified-OCD.

Address Unknown, Kressman Taylor

aaukt

If you have only 15 minutes to read, pick up this book.

I read it during breakfast one day, and finished it within 15 minutes. It was a bad idea. At the end of the book I felt like crying. However, I was so taken by the book I read it many, many times that week. So much so I could probably memorize it by now!

I read it when I wake up, I read it when I’m having breakfast, I read it before going to bed…

I pushed the book to Hero. I rarely do that. Our taste in books differs. We share common likings for books about history and ancient warfare but that is as far as our similar tastes in books go. Pretty safe to say, whatever I read wouldn’t interest him and vice versa.

Guess what? My hardened man was taken by the book. I see him shaking his head in disbelief a few times while reading it. Then he started peddling that book to all friends who come across. P read it, had the same shake-head-in-disbelief reaction. Then he lent it to his girlfriend, who lent it to some girls at work and vice versa. I can picture their reaction.

This little book packs in every emotion and twist it to the last strand. I find it disturbing. I find it horrifying in some parts. I find it unbelievably shocking in others. It left me uneasy. And sad. And everything else in between from feeling of sadness, helplessness to unsatisfactory victory.

This book made a reader out of non-reader among our friends, even if it was only for this particular book. Friends who usually shun books got curious when this was discussed while drinking beers. I would know it. Hero’s and P’s friends and workmates congregates around here for beers and conversations few times each week. This book was thin enough for the clueless to read while sipping beer and listening to the rest of the guys discussing it. It’s a strange sight…hardened, rough, construction men discussing literature. And how funny would it be when these men return home to tell their wife, “oh, I was at Hero’s place today and I read this interesting book…” and then start talking about it?

And it happened! Two wives that were so astounded at their men coming home discussing book, or rather a particular book, and I got a call the next day asking what it was. What’s the deal with the book. So I told them. And then lent it to them. Then they understood.

But the truth is, we’re not discussing literature. We wouldn’t be so pompous as that! To us laymen, the book most disturbing points were that of disloyalty and broken friendship, all because of the racist poison.

The verdict? The book was due a week ago and I had to extend it because other friends wanted to read it. Tomorrow it will return in my hand again and I will read it for the last time before I return it to the library.

The action of the characters are unbelievable. But it is very believable. Sounds weird when put that way but that is how it is. Their actions were understandable. In the end I felt justice was served but strangely I wasn’t satisfied by how.

Perhaps that is what made it so unsettling. So un-comforting. The knowledge that even though we shake our head in disbelief of what these two friends are doing to each other, we know that it could have well been us. We can feel them. Both of them. We understood why they did what they did even if we didn’t agree.

Below is my summary of the book, if you care to read it. I had wrote it in white font. That way you can choose whether to read it before you read the book itself by highlighting and revealing the secret passages of this entry (haha). Or you can choose to ignore the spoilers, get the book out from the library and read it for yourself.

Summary (Highlight the paragraphs with your cursor to reveal spoilers)

This book is a series of letter between two friends. One is Jewish, the other German. They had been in business partnership in America, pre-Hitler. They were the best of friends, loved each other like brothers. The art gallery they co-own earned them a comfortable living, and the German moved back to what was then poor-Germany. They continued their business relationship by corresponding through letters.

As Hitler rises, the German was cautious about his friendship with his Jewish friend back in America. Gradually he told him not to write again unless it was attached with a bank draft, so their correspondence could be disguised as purely business.

However, as time passes it seems that the German friend is slowly being poisoned by Nazi ideologies. No longer does he feel for his Jewish friends. Their relationship became estranged…and one day the Jewish friend asked his German friend to look out for his sister. His sister and the German had once been lovers, but so true was the Nazi poison in the German friend that he refuse to help the Jewess when she was pursued by stormtroopers. The German kind, not the Star Wars variety. She was captured in his backyard, to her certain death. When he wrote back to his Jewish ‘friend’ back in America to inform him what has happened, that was the tipping point.

The subsequent letters from his Jewish friends was poisonous and malicious, without even sounding so. That is what bothers us.

It read like a normal letter between friends, but full of ideas falsely implicating the German of being a Friend of The Jews. He knew that sooner or later the Nazi that are bound to intercept correspondence, as it was at that time. (I bolded and underlined the “poison”)

Aunt Rheba says tell Martin he must write more briefly and clearly so his friends can understand all that he says. I am sure everyone will be in readiness for your family reunion on the 15th.”

The last letter to his German ‘friend’ was the German’s undoing:

“Martin Our Brother,

Cousin Julius has two nine-pound boys. The family is happy. We regard the success of your coming artists’ exhibitions as assured. The last shipment of canvases was delayed due to difficulties of international exchange but will reach your Berlin associates in plenty of time. Consider reproduction collection complete. Your best support should come from Picasso enthusiasts but neglect no other lines.

We leave all final plans to your discretion but urge an early date for wholly successful exhibit.

The God of Moses be at your right hand.

Eisenstein.”

The last letter was sent back to the Jewish friend, with a stamp saying “Adressat unbekannt”—Addressee Unknown. It was a clear sign that his German ‘friend’ has been suspected of being a Jew supporter, or even worse a half-Jew and has been taken away to concentration camp or killed.

Two friends who had loved each other like blood brothers, turning against each other in the name of racial differences.

Was it worth it? In the end, they both made their point and lost the battle.

This was written during Hitler’s period. However, it is still every bit relevant now: Muslim vs The Rest of The World, various racial conflicts…just to name two. If we are not careful, this could well be us.

And this, my dear readers, makes me uncomfortable.

Let us not forget.

Don’t beg me to read your poems (they most likely suck)

To whometh it mayeth concerneth,

I would like to implore thee to use thy senses.

Just because I blog does not mean I’m a qualified, bone fide writer (my split personality will beg to differ, however).

I do not have formal writer’s training. My forays into writings are limited to those pretentious essays I write in high school that my teachers seem to like. The more pretentious, the better. Layman terms are a no-no. The closest I come to a writing instructor is my mother who hovers around me brandishing sticks and flog me everytime I start my sentences with “and”, “but” and “or”.

Heh. I kid. She doesn’t brandish sticks around. She doesn’t flog me. But she will disown me just because I started this sentence with a but. Or else. (And ha ha to you, Mum!)

My point here is…just because I write on an electronic journal and left it open for literary, grammatical and whateverya analysis and criticism, I don’t consider myself a literary person.

Therefore, I DO NOT WANT TO READ OR REVIEW YOUR STUPID POEM(S).

Yes. You read right.

The next person who asked me to read and comment on their poem will be cursed to fleas of a thousand camels and itch of a thousand centuries.

What were you thinking? “Ooooh! Ooooh, look at this piece of melodramatic, romantic shit I’ve written! Oooooh! It is so proufoundly deep! Ooooh, I MUST have someone else read it and tell me how sensitive and poetic I am!”

I don’t care much about poem. That was the subject I most despised in both English and Malay language class. My literature diet while growing up, some being poems (thanks for an English teacher mother) I was lucky enough I knew what those major poem by major poets are trying to say in between the lines but heck, I despised beating around the bush in any form and manner. It may have something to do with my straightforward attitude. If I think you’re a fuckhead, I say you’re a fuckhead. I do not beat around the bush and say “thou art intercourse head and thou I disliketh”.

Hang on, that was a little bit straightforward wasn’t it? Let’s try another one:

“thou head is of that unholy activity (unless thee are married)

that bringeth the joy of lives—babies

yet, not in the joyous sense.”

Say WHAT?

Of course, the experience of having an English teacher mother, the phrase “meter! Meter! Flow! Flow!” coming out of her whenever my English teacher send me home with a poem homework. Oh, how I despise it. All I wanted to do was finish my homework and be done with the stupid drudgery of thinking of something that should be tugging heartstrings! I despised it even more when my English teachers, all of them without fail, ooh and aaahed at my poems and proceeded to make an example of it, telling the whole class “this is how a poem should feel!” The shame of that whole thing, man. I tell you. My respect for the teachers just shoots down the drain. Nay, wait…more like…

the drain…it crumbles…

leaving no room for any thing to shoot down it.

It just…crumbles.

Oh.

Dark days.

Dark days.

Say WHAT again?

I do not entirely hate poem I suppose. There have been a few that I like but there are far and few in between. If I have to like poems, I like them to be funny, tongue in cheek or sarcastic.

Poems in greeting cards I can stand because this is greeting cards and they shouldn’t say “thank God he’s dead and now we can get on with our lives!”. In this case we can beat around the bush and go “the living may grieve but life goes on knowing he’s in a better place”. Not if he’s a mobster or Saddam Hussein. Imagine Saddam’s family getting a card like that. “Oh, pretty sure he’s in a better place.” Wanna bet on it? Does he like the 17 frigid virgins he finds up there, who can do nothing cos they know nothing cos they’re virgins? Yeah! A fat lot of good that did him! I’m pretty sure he’d much prefer 17 professional escorts who’d at least know their way around his disco stick.

But ehem, that’s beside the point.

So the thing here is, most likely I’m going to think your poem sucks. Whether or not it does. Most likely, it does suck and just because I love and care about you doesn’t mean I’m going to wax lyrical about your poetic abilities if you write sucky poems. I dislike poems. And if you start writing poems that attempts to stir the emotions, I’d hate you even more. I don’t care if the person in your poem is contemplating suicide! I don’t care if your poem is about a shoe that is about to be thrown out! I don’t care if your poem is written by a stray dog! Stray dogs don’t write poems! Shoes don’t write poems! YOU DO AND YOU SUCK!

If you want constructive criticism I beg of thee, please find someone who would care to read it. Please find someone with poetic-messiah-complex to review it. Do not ask a Mad Penguin Who Think She Is The Awesomest And Therefore Should Not Be Subjected To Such Drudgery to review it.

And don’t get offended when after all that, after pestering me with comments on your poem, that I don’t comment.

Because do that again and I vow to the Olympus of high heavens I shall destroy thy muse and make thee feel like an intercourse head. Or that activity in which joy is made but without joy or whatever.

Erm…say what?

Yours in poetic instability a.k.a Peace out, Yo!

Disturbedeth Waddlingeth Madeth Penguineth

A very chickenfull post

Buckeroomama have been kind enough to award me the Zombie Chicken award.

Yes, you read right. Zombie. Chicken.

Basically this awards means that I’m one of the people that she’ll not stop reading even if there are an army of Zombie Chicken attacking her. Now, she doesn’t think of me in this whole situation i.e them zombie chickens can track my IP and who I am from my post, and then proceed to attack me. Nooo, not once have she thought about my safety in her quest to read my irate rants.

That being said, I am so honoured to be awarded this award. I now question her sanity on reading me at all. What have I done to this woman? I pat myself for this. :)

Thank you, Buckeroomama! And please, finish reading before those Cluckity Monsters attack you. Please.

In the spirit of Zombie Chicken award, I would like to bring your attention to another Clucky business before I give away my Zombie Chicken award.

Collect your good karma, consider giving away a chicken. Yes! A chicken!

Good ‘ol Genesis brought my attention to this charity in this post just as I came into massive inheritance. Her timing is perfect. For more information, check out the Mayan Family Chicken Program

My short version of this: to effectively provide for a Mayan family in need, 10 chickens are needed per family. These 10 chickens plus feeding and other chicken-rearing related activities will cost a one-off $35 donation per family. If you break it down, that comes to $3.50 per chicken. With those 10 chickens, they can sustain themselves with the eggs, or meat from the chicken. They can sell the eggs. They can eat the meat. So many possibilities!

We all have heard the phrase “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today.  Teach a man to fish; and you will have fed him for a lifetime”. This works in the same way, except with chicken! I doubt you can lure chicken with a bait at the end of a fishing rod anyway.

The Mad Penguin have gone cluckity buck buck! and have donated the equivalent of 2 chickens last night. I’m pledging 10 chickens before the end of this year. I’m going to try to do it bit by bit til I have donated the full $35 amount needed for a family. We pray all my 10 chickens at the end of this exercise will not turn into Zombie Chickens. Now, I’m not sure if the Mayan family will be thankful for that. Hmm…

And now *drumroll* for the nomination.

Yes, I’m being sneaky because I nominate at the end of my post, so that you’re forced to read about the Clucks for Bucks but hey, I’m misleading you in the name of charity. You can’t hate me. Nya nya nya nya nya.

zombiechicken

The Tao of Zombie Chicken Award:
”The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…"

First up is Genesis from ExpatMom. This award goes to her for being the original cluck cluck what’s with her educating us all about the chicken bus and pointing out those Cluck for Buck program Yes, I would so brave zombie chickens to read her.

Secondly, the award goes to Stella because she is one of my soul sisters and no zombie chicken would come in between me and updates from her blog. Tough luck, chickens!

Thirdly, goes to Stereomanic. He’s a newbie in this blogging world so be kind to him will ya? He discusses issues and voice his opinion on them, some of which I might not agree but many of which I nod and go “hell yeah!”. So for gutsy-ness, ability to put them in coherent words I give him a zombie chicken.

Fourth, Unfinished Business Part II because I like the unfinality of the blog title. Haha. I kid. Aren’t I funny! I crack myself up sometimes. Yeah. I’ll read her in between hacking zombie chickens. Her writing borders between factual whimsical (I really don’t know how else to explain this) and look at the blog, it is so tidy! My mild OCD approves very highly.

Fifth, Tina of The Creative Nerd. Now that she has a second laptop, maybe more post would come our way *hinthint*. She a fellow bookworm and a lot of my readings last year was through her recommendations. Here you go Tina, take them chickens away from me!

This concludes my very long post concerning chickens. If you still need more chickens, feel free to find out why the chickens cross the road here and here.

Penguin, Penguin Mad Contrary, How does your garden grows?

A few days ago my hunk got me these…

crys1 PIC_0179

My favourite flowers. Chrysanthemum. In a black pot with white dish…can you guess what they are sitting on?

PIC_0176

Here. I’ll give you more clues. Now guess!

PIC_0170

In case you can’t figure it out.

PIC_0175

Yes. It’s a working fireplace. Real wood. Real fires. Just look at my hunk setting it up at night.

PIC_0166

Yes, it is my attempt to splash out some colours in this very manly, masculine house. There are too much Yang floating around here that I’m forced to bring in some Yin. I’m not even joking with this Yin Yang thingie!

Apparently white flowers in black pots in white square dish is man-approved. It is not considered feminine at all. Male friends look at it and approved. No jokes. No teasing. No snickering. Just nods and approval and it’s a good contrast, says they. So the joke’s on me.

Pfft. Wait til I get those yellows and pinks chrysanthemum!

We got these two in Bunnings Warehouse for…wait for it…*drumroll* $5! YES! FIVE! For both! Hero was kind enough to bring me to the nursery. In the process, he got himself some very manly Birds of Paradise plants while I oohed and aaahed and agonize about what I should get. I wanted everything! And there were so reasonably priced!

I love you, Bunnings Warehouse. I’m definitely coming back for more chrysanthemum. And those herb plants for my own window herb garden. And those Japanese bamboo that Hero approves very highly of. Thank goodness!

In case you think having a PIC_0162 fireplace it is all romantic and gooey-ish…you’ll be disappointed to find out that ashes do fly out whenever you open the door to put more wood in. And they land on the floor. And tomorrow morning your romance ends and your reality begins as you sweep them ashes away and wonder why a thing so beautiful could possibly take up so much work. 

Sorry for the picture quality. I’m a writer, not a photographer. Plus, those dates are not supposed to be there. It just spoils the picture. :( I have no idea how that happened.

Trust me though, it looks heaps better in real life. I’m sitting here and everytime I look at it I just melt.

Ring ring!

Today is P’s birthday. Happy birthday, P!

I will refrain from revealing his age. He knows where I live. :P

llove

Today two years ago, Hero picked up the phone and called me up to say ‘hello’. It is not the first time, but it was THE phone call that started everything. That gave him enough merit. Funnily enough, he was rewarded with me almost bawling my head off. He had called at the wrong time. Long story.

Two days later he called to check up on me and see if I felt any better. This time I really did bawled my head off. Another long story.

He stayed on the phone til 3isham…and he had to wake up for work at 5.30am.

At that point in time, I realized I had a good man right under my nose and I was being stupid all this while.

The rest, is history. ;)

P.S: This is not our anniversary. This is just an event that will eventually lead to the existence of that anniversary. ;) This is the stage where we moved from being acquaintances, to friends, to something more than friend but less than lovers. We tread the waters for almost 2 months, before any anniversary-creating event happened!

Unpacking…gotta love it. :(

Sorry for the extended silence guys.

I’m just over moving now. It’s crap. I don’t plan to move in another 4 years, hopefully. Last night I gave up on unpacking.

Me: That’s it! I’m binning everything else! *kick box*

Hero: *alarmed* That’s your scrapbooking stuffs, babe.

Me: *sulk in one corner* I don’t care. I’ll throw everything away.

Hero: *opening box* Your embosser is in this…your glitters…

Me: I. DON’T. CARE!

Hero: Come on babe, just a little bit more…

Me: This is YOUR fault!

Hero: *puzzled* What…giving you money to buy heaps of craft supplies?

Me: NO! For charming me enough to move! This catastrophe! THIS! YOU! You will UNPACK FOR ME!

Hero: *chuckles* Yes baby.

A few minutes later…rolling around in bed while Hero is attempting to unpack the rest of my clothes…

Me: Uhm, honey. That’s formal wear.

Hero: Yes?

Me: It should go on the furthest left…please…

Hero: Ok baby.

A few minutes later.

Me: Uhm, honey. That’s red.

Hero: What, further right this time?

Me: Uhm, no. You should put it with the other red clusters.

Hero: Come again?

Me: There’s red stuffs there *point to a spot* and then there’s my blues, and then there’s my whites…

Hero: Holy shit, batman. You actually colour code your closet?

Me: Yes. Makes it easier to mix and match.

Hero: o.0 You’re too efficient, babe.

Me: Makes my life much easier, honey. Uhm…pantyhose goes into undies drawer.

Hero: We have an undies drawer???

Me: Uhm. You know what hunk? That’s alright. Just leave it there. I’ll unpack myself tomorrow. Thank you!

At least my hunk tried. He’s awesome. Despite not being a domestic organized freak like his Penguin.

My Legal Letter from a Very Legal Barrister.

a.k.a my ‘relation’ died and I hit jackpot. Do I care to find out who he is? Not really. As long as he leaves me money, that’s all I care about.

Click on the picture to view my very legal, formal and professional letter.

jimpeter

My English teacher mum will be so proud of me.

Thanks Mr. Jim Peter for tracking me down. Now all you have to do is prove to the world that I’m really related to the Queen of England and I’m actually second in line to the throne instead of those imposters.

Hey, if you can track a wealthy dead relative, you could track down a wealthy living one that I can manipulate.

Perhaps with your 45% share of my loot you’d be able to get yourself a decent English education, a proper dictionary and perhaps hire a professional secretary to take your dictations and not mess up your very professional sounding letter.

Pfft!